Who Are You to Make Me Feel So Good?
by Midnightxtal
Summary: What happens when you have a suicidal AND pregnant Noodle? Will have bits of NoodlexMurdoc/2D/OC. Rated M for sexual scenes, substance use, self-harm, and profanity. After Phase 3/ Wobble Street.
1. Love

**This is my first try at writing anything about Noodle, so sorry if she's a bit out of character. I'm kind of writing this through a depressed-hazy attitude she'll carry on with. This story will be full of very sexual themes/drug use/domestic violence/self harm.. so if you're impartial to any of the following you WILL be wasting your time with this read. For those of you about to delve into it, enjoi!  
**

* * *

Noodle stared at the mirror. Her purple locks soaked to the side of her face from tears. She had done it again. She had broken the promise she made to herself only two weeks ago. The blade dropped to the floor with a loud clink. Blood splatter covered the floor as she stripped off her soaking wet shirt. Earlier she had received the bad news about her secret lover. He had died in a car crash just moments before the phone call from drunk driving. Noodle didn't know what to do other than turn on the shower and stand there, tearing apart her package of razors and digging into her skin as she sobbed quietly. Even if the man had beat her and drove her into practical insanity she had still loved him. She had the old scars to show her pain.

When she had tired of the razors she stepped out of the shower, pulling out a pocket knife Stu had lent her long ago and made one last cut. Now she had no idea what to do with herself. She slipped her pants off, leaving her in only a pair of wet underwear and a water-logged bra. The fresh wounds stung against the touch of her blankets as she hit the bedsheets. She sighed, wiping the smeared eyeliner from her eyes. What was she going to do with herself now? She had nobody to blame but herself now for her hurt. All the pain she felt. Every cut she made. It was her fault,a nd her fault only.

Noodle closed her eyes, singing along with the song playing in her head.

_"Who are we to be emotional?_  
_Who are we to play with hearts and throw away it all?_  
_Oh, who are we to turn each other's heads?_  
_Who are we to find ourselves in other people's beds?_

_Oh, I don't like the way I never listen to myself_  
_I feel like I'm on fire, I'm too shy to cry for help_  
_Oh, I don't think you know me much at all_

_This love is be and end all_  
_This love will be your downfall_  
_This love is be and end all_  
_This love will be your downfall_

_I'm feeling down about this love"_

Noodle gently drummed along on her flat stomach to the beat of the song, her foot shaking.

_"Who are you to make me feel so good?_  
_Who are we to tell ourselves that we're misunderstood?_  
_Oh, who am I to say I'm always yours?_  
_Who am I to choose the boy that everyone adores?_  
_Oh, I don't see a reason why we can't just be apart_  
_We're falling on each other like we're always in the dark_  
_Oh, I don't think you know me much at all, at all"_

Noodle clenched her fist. She couldn't believe herself and the way she had been acting over this situation. She could always go back to sleeping with Stu and Murdoc like she had before this man had come along. It always made her feel better, and like a dirty slut at the same time, knowing that they were both oblivious to the fact that she had been sleeping with them both.

_"This love is be and end all_  
_This love will be your downfall_  
_This love is be and end all_  
_This love will be your downfall_  
_This love is be and end all_  
_This love will be your downfall_  
_(At all)_

_This love is not what you want_  
_This heart will never be yours_  
_This love is be and end all_  
_This love will be your downfall_  
_This love is be and end all_  
_This love will be your downfall"_

No. Not this wouldn't be her downfall. She couldn't let herself be this way anymore. Noodle sat up, staring at her stomach. She was surprised it was still as flat as it usually was. She had to be at least two months along. It had been the reason she had broken off her secret rondevu. He had beaten her one last time and sent her to the ICU where she had found out she was carrying a "little bundle of joy". Or so the nurse had told her. She couldn't find joy in having something like this in her life. A child to be born to an unfit mother. A whore. A drug addict. A cutter. A suicidal person.

There was no way in hell she would be ready for something like this. No way she could do this on her own. There was no way she could have this child. She wasn't ready to be a mother in any sense.

* * *

Noodle completed her morning routine. Get sick, shower, bandage wounds, get dressed. She put on a pair of skin tight ripped blue jeans and laced up her Keds. She threw on a white tank top before slipping into her fitted black hoodie. There was no way she could survive today if Murdoc and Stu saw her arms. She had been lucky that Russ had grown too large to fit into the house. Noodle let out one last sigh before exiting her tidied room and began her journey down the hallway. It was only about ten in the A.M. but she couldn't sleep after everything and had decided she would go to a doctor and talk to him about her pregnancy options before it was too late to hide it from the rest of the band. She put on a dark blue sock hat and a black pair of sunglasses before walking out to the public bus.

Nobody looked up at her as she sat there, pulling out an iPod and watching out the window. This was good, there was no way she would be able to live it down is somebody from the media would find her. It would make headlines and the boys would surely hear of it. There would be no way she could explain the secret actions she had made over the past year. She couldn't right these wrongs. She couldn't even explain her actions to herself. The bus made it to her stop and she pulled the line, hearing a ding. The bus stopped, air escaping. She stood, quickly exiting and walking into the clinic.

* * *

Noodle lifted her shirt and watched the doctor pour the cold goo on her stomach. She clocked him out as he blabbed on about her baby looking healthy and how she should gain more weight. She had restrained herself from looking at the ultrasound picture. She didn't know what she would do if she looked at it. Would she grow more attached? Would she burst into tears? She had already gotten too choked up to talk to the doctor about her options with abortion and adoption. Her views on it were already skewed and she wanted to make sure she didn't make a decision she would regret.

The printed buzzed as the lights flicked on. The doctor wiped her stomach off and headed to the printer, handing her the picture. Noodle kept it on her lap, not looking. "I hope to see you soon," he smiled and showed her out the door. Noodle walked out with her head down, folding the picture without looking. She put her ear buds back in and sighed. Why couldn't she just be one of those heartless women who could just nip it and not care? How could prostitutes just do that?

* * *

Stuart sat the plate of chicken and potatoes in front of Noodle, staring at her. "Are yew awright lov?" he asked, concerned. Murdoc took another sip of his rum bottle and picked at the plate he started to devour. She looked up at him, her eyes bruised from the hours of crying she just put herself through. It had happened as soon as she arrived back at the Wobble Street house. She moved her legs, feeling the still folded ultrasound picture in her pants pocket. She still couldn't bring herself to look at what was growing inside of her. "Yeah, just a bit tired," she responded sheepishly. Stuart nodded slowly, probably trying to avoid a sore subject.

"Leave the lass alone face-ache," Murdoc slurred from across the table. Noodle usually didn't get along with Murdoc, but there was one thing he was good for: making a conversation end. She picked at her food for another ten minutes, taking a bite or two before she decided she was sick of it and left the table. The stairs creaked as she gently walked up them to her room. The paper lanterns lit the dark space, illuminating the stars outside of her window. She opened one, sitting on the roof out of Russ's view. She sighed and closed her eyes, hearing a slight patter next to her. A warm pair of arms wrapped themselves around her shoulder as a butterscotch aroma attacked her nose. Stuart. He never showed it publicly, but her deeply cared for the girl. It never failed that he would always try and make her better. Even if she resisted trying to feel better. "Lov," he whispered in her ear.

Noodle opened her eyes, staring into affectionate black orbs looking strait at her. Soon she felt his warm lips against her's. It was the only way he had known for a while to make her happy. It was something she hadn't let him do for months. Her walls were finally breaking. Noodle kissed him back, holding onto him for dear life as she felt her tears finally rain down onto her hoodie. Stuart held her face, wiping away the tears as he desperately kissed her back. In a strange way this did make her happier. Stuart was a good guy. He had been good to her the entire time they slept together. Even before and after that. Nothing she could do would make him feel less about her. So why would she harbor such a big secret from him? She knew why, but she didn't want to admit it was selfish of herself for thinking so.

Stuart picked her up, laying her on the soft bed she lay in every night. The silk sheets swallowed them up as they snogged. Noodle couldn't help herself at this point. She needed something to make herself feel better. Even if it meant that she would be getting it in all the wrong places. Something, anything. She just needed to be better. Noodle slapped his hands away when he began to tug at her shirt. She couldn't risk him seeing her arms that had been added to earlier. There was no way this could happen tonight. "Stu?" she pushed away for air. "Hrm?" he looked in a haze. "Hold me," she quietly replied as she reached up for his blue locks. He nodded and planted one last kiss on her lips before going behind her and pulling her close.

Noodle held held his hand. She missed being a little kid. When they lived at Kong and she could sneak into his bed at night every time she had a nightmare. Stuart always kindly let her into his bed and held her tight through the night to make sure she was okay just incase it happened again. He had always been there for her in the end. So why did she decide long ago that he could never be with her? Noodle shook her head slightly and shut her eyes, letting sleep take over her body. This is what she needed to wash the day away.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Please no flaming on the Noodle x Murdoc/Stuart. All bad reviews pertaining to it WILL be immediately deleted. **

**Song: This Love(Will Be Your Downfall) - Ellie Goulding  
**

**Bai!  
**


	2. We're Always in The Dark

**Decided to do at least a two-fer on the first day this story is published. So hope you guys have been enjoying the story and will enjoy this part of it too.**

**WARNING, THIS IS A VERY LEMON FILLED CHAPTER.  
**

* * *

Noodle had her arms rested on the ledge of her open window. The wind blew her hair gently side to side as she stared out at the stars. Stuart was fast asleep behind her and the thunder had woken her up not too long ago. Something about the smell of rain could always set her into a zen mood. It had been that way since she was shipped to Kong. She smiled, laughing quietly as to not wake Stuart. She couldn't believe how long she had been with the band. They had become her family. The people she relied upon when she had a bad time. The people who taught her everything. So why was she trying to pull away now?

Even if things had become stale lately she still knew they'd always be there for her in the end. Noodle reached a hand down, touching her stomach. Her eyes closed. Even if... if she were to have her baby. She knew that they would still love her. Sure, Murdoc might take it hard. Stuart may feel a bit hurt. Russell would be a little disappointed, but one thing always stayed the same. They always seemed to be able to come to one another and reform. Still though, that didn't mean that she wanted to keep what was growing inside of her. Adoption was always an option... but then again having a child was expensive and trying to find the "perfect" family would be hard for her. Seeing as she was a rather picky person. Of course there was always the third option... abortion. Sure, it may be something that would be hard to go through with, but in the end she wouldn't have to go through the hardship of being a young adult mother. Could she really have a child that would live knowing it didn't have a father and never would because he died without knowing it even existed? Could she tell her child its father was an abusive drug dealer? That mommy left him and never bothered to tell him you existed?

Noodle let out a deep breath, turning back towards Stuart. He looked so peaceful with his messy blue locks spewed all over her pillows. She sniggered a bit before sitting back on the bed and staring down at her hands. A large scar covered the palm of her left hand. She smirked, remembering how it had gotten there.

It had been a clam and rainy night like this one. She had met up with Kamron, her secret lover. They had met at a pub for their first official date. Everything was going smoothly until about forty minutes in. Kamron received a phone call and immediately after insisted that they go back to his flat. It didn't seem like a command, more of a plead. Noodle of course agreed, watching him the entire drive back as he kept looking around him. When they arrived he sat in the car for about five minutes before he suggested they go inside. Noodle had agreed to him again, thinking that they were going in for their usual shag before she caught the next bus home. Kamron took her to his bedroom and then left with an odd expression on his face, telling her to stay put.

After what felt like hours later, Noodle had felt something cold and metal press against her throat. An angry voice told her to stay still and she had to bite her lip to keep from screaming her lungs out. At that time she had known that Kamron was indeed a drug dealer, but not to this extent. Had a deal gone bad? Why was she being involved in this? Had he traded her off? She had heard of some girls being forced to sell their bodies for drugs before. The man eventually started to feel her up roughly, making her sob without a sound. Why did it have to be her? Why was this happening? Was she really that bad of a person to deserve something like this?

Noodle eventually couldn't take it anymore and tried fighting back, grabbing the blade and ramming her elbow into the man's side, slicing her hand deeply open and running off the bed and into the living space. Kamron stared up at her, covered in blood with a man lying dead underneath him. Noodle couldn't really remember anything about that night, seeing as she immediately black out being paralyzed in fear.

Eventually however, she had awoken in the hospital with her band mates around her, saying that she had been a mugging victim and that some stranger had dropped her off in the waiting room without giving a name. Two weeks and 50 stitches later she saw Kamron the next time. He had been running from the cops the entire time she had known him after that day. Noodle always seemed to pin the reason for the beatings on his frustrations towards always having to hide.

It was always hard trying to cover up her bruises, cuts, and fat lips from her band mates. Always telling them she was working on something in her room and fell. Or that she has been goofing off with friends and gotten hurt. They always bought it, but she knew Stuart always had doubts. He questioned her about things the entire time that she had been secretly seeing Kamron. Always wondering why she stayed out late and wore so much make-up.

Noodle sighed, looking over her shoulder to the singer. He always meant nothing but good towards anybody. The poor man. Always getting abused in all different ways. She looked over at the clock, seeing her iPod still plugged in from earlier and lightly playing music she used to calm herself down. She stopped for a second, thinking before turning it up and climbing ontop of Stuart. The electronic beat started up as she brought her face closer to his, their lips meeting. He didn't react at first, still deep in sleep until she bit his lips. He let out a groan, the tone quickly turning to pleasure.

_"See the stone set in your eyes_  
_See the thorn twist in your side._  
_I wait for you._  
_Sleight of hand and twist of fate_  
_On a bed of nails she makes me wait_  
_And I wait without you"_

Stuart quickly grabbed onto her, smashing her body against his scrawny body. Was this really happening? Noodle closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. Hopefully he wouldn't be awake enough to notice her arms once the sweatshirt came off. He poked at her lips with his tongue, and she let him in. Noodle sucked his tongue, sending shivers down his spine. She could feel his hot breath against her face as he frantically breathed through his nose.

_"With or without you_  
_With or without you."_

They slowly shed their clothing, their bodies tangling as they kisses and gripped the sheets. Noodle pulled the blanket over them as Stuart slowly disappeared out of her sight. She felt his wet lips smashing themselves against her thighs, slowly making their way down. She gasped loudly as she felt him begin to slowly suck on her clit. Her eyes fought to stay open as he repeatedly sent vibrations of pleasure through her body.

_"Through the storm, we reach the shore_  
_You gave it all but I want more_  
_And I'm waiting for you."_

Noodle squirmed as he grabbed her thighs tightly. She had forgotten what it felt like to become this intimate with Stuart. Much different from what she had gotten used to with Kamron. Stuart picked up the pace, making her grabs the sheets tightly and let out a loud moan as a feeling of ecstasy overcame her. She could feel him smile as he kissed his way back up to her neck, wiping his mouth on his arm. She felt her heart pick up suddenly, her want overcoming any feeling she had before this. Anything bad thought she had had no longer existed. Only this moment. Stuart stared down at her, oblivious to the marks she hid underneath the sheets.

_"With or without you_  
_With or without you._  
_I can't live with or without you."_

Stuart smiled, his eyes still halfway shut as he leaned down, their lips once again connecting. The moment felt like it could last forever, or at least Noodle hoped it would. She could feel Stuart's erect member warmly resting on her stomach every time they grabbed onto one another. The want was clear in his actions. He kept making thrusting motions, grabbing onto her hips as if asking for permission to break the barrier. Noodle smiled, sucking on his neck one last time. He shuddered, wearing a dazed expression. She finally decided it was enough, pulling him closer.

_"And you give yourself away_  
_And you give yourself away_  
_And you give, and you give_  
_And you give yourself away."_

Stuart bucked one last time, spreading her legs open. Noodle gasped, feeling the warm tip against her entrance. She tugged his blue locks, her want growing. He roughly locked lips with her, thrusting inside of her tight space. She arched back, her moan suffocated in their lip lock. Stuart held her tightly, slightly shaking. His breathing was becoming heavier as they progressed. Noodle bit his chest, urging him for more. He sat up slightly enough for their connection to be visible. Yet again, he seemed to be oblivious to the marks that plagued her arms.

_"My hands are tied, my body bruised_  
_She got me with nothing to win_  
_And nothing else to lose."_

Noodle winced, feeling a twinge of pain in her stomach as he picked up the pace, holding her thighs tightly against his long body. She closed her eyes, unable to focus on anything other than this. The way he looked in the moonlight as he closed an eye, focusing on the situation. His hair illuminated by the color of the sky. Something about this made him look even more attractive than usual. His pretty boy looks had never faded and probably never would.

_"And you give yourself away_  
_And you give yourself away_  
_And you give, and you give_  
_And you give yourself away."_

Stuart let out a grunt as he stopped for breath, feeling Noodle tug at his hair in displeasure. It had been almost a year since she had felt his comfort in bed and she didn't want to give up the feeling. She wrapped her legs around his hips, pushing him further in and causing him to bites his lip, shaking his head.

_"With or without you_  
_With or without you_  
_I can't live_  
_With or without you."_

"Stu?" Noodle asked raspily," are you alright?" He nodded, leaning in for another snogging, gripping her chest lightly. She wiggled below him, as he gripped onto her nipples, twisting them. She fought with her eyes to keep them open. Stuart sat back up, thrusting in roughly. "I'm s-s-so close Noods," he barely choked out before he held her hips tightly, filling her with his warm cum.

_"With or without you_  
_With or without you_  
_I can't live_  
_With or without you_  
_With or without you"_

Noodle bit her bottom lip at the feeling of Stuart pulling his now limp member out of her. Stuart closed his eyes, letting out a deep breath and laying beside her, holding her close for a passionate kiss. The embrace tightened for a moment as a pained expression crossed his face. Noodle pulled back, looking at him questionably. "Noodle..." he looked her over," what is wrong with your arms?" Stuart held her arms up, examining them. She instantly panicked. Had he felt the bumps against his waist? "U-um..." her eyes began to shake.

* * *

**Uh oh! Somebody got caught! To those of you that read through the lemon-ess, thanks for sticking through! Bai! **

**Song: With or Without You (COVER) - Breathe Carolina**


	3. Blood Shed

**I'm glad to see this story getting a rather lot of hits. So how are you guys enjoying it? What do you think Noodle should do about the baby situation?**

**Enjoi!**

**WARNING, tid bits of lemon in this chapter.  
**

* * *

Noodle stared into Stuart's eyes, lost for words. The music mixed with he rampaging fear inside of her made everything seem like a blur. How could she do this? How could she think that she wouldn't be caught? Stuart stared at her, his expression growing angrier by the second. Noodle couldn't think to do anything other than stare. Her mouth wouldn't work. Words couldn't form. "Noodle, I asked you... what in the fucking hell is this?!" he was now screaming, gripping onto her arms. The wounds all completely exposed in the dim lights of the bedroom. Months of hidden agony now shown to a man she had loved long ago. "Noodle!" her jerked her arms, bringing her back to reality.

Noodle stared at Stuart, the feeling of warm tears stinging her dry eyes. "I.." she whispered. Stuart pursed his lips, his face tightening in agony. She knew he was aware of what he had just found. Yet the pain that was displayed across his face struck her as foreign. How could she do this to him? How could she be such an embarrassment to somebody like Stuart. He held onto her arms for a while longer before he let go and slipped his trousers on, walking out of the room and slamming the door. Noodle lay still, her bare chest exposed to the chilled air of rain. What had just happened? Had he really found one of her biggest secrets. She closed her eyes, biting her bottom lip. How could this be? Her stomach turned, her insides catching fire. She was going to throw up.

* * *

The clock ticked behind Noodle as she sat at the kitchen counter. She played with her cereal, her scarf blocking most of her view, and hiding the scratch marks she had given herself when she dug her nails into her neck after Stuart had left her room. Stuart had walked to the table without saying a word to her. Bags drooped under his eyes. Had he not slept after the incident? Noodle knew she hadn't even tried to. Though a loss of sleep was something she had grown used to in the past year. Many a night she had stayed awake, too tweaked out on drugs to close her eyes. She watched the milk drop from her spoon, the silver stained. Her bowl was now filled with sopping wet cereal. She hadn't been able to bring herself to take a bite. Murdoc joined the table, always the last to wake. He set his bottle of rum down, looking between the awkward pair. Stuart ate away at this waffles as Noodle continues to stay quiet.

What could she say to him? How could she begin to explain herself? This mess was awful. Noodle stood, leaving her bowl sitting where it was. She couldn't take the awkward silence anymore. The only thing she could think of was sitting on her bed and adding another gash to her horrid collection. She ripped the scarf off, basically taking the door off the hinges when she slammed it. What had she come to? Noodle grabbed her stomach, feeling it. Why did you have to be here? Why do you have to be a constant reminder? I hate you! She shook her head, her hair smacking her cheeks. Tears streaked down as she ripped her shirt off and searched beneath the bed for her hidden switchblade. The metal clinked against her bed board as she picked it up, slamming the blade against her frail arm. Blood gushed, hitting her rug.

Noodle clenched her teeth, stifling a scream. The tears mixed with the blood, making it drip more. She lay her head on her bed, sobbing hard. She hated what had become of her. Why in the hell did it have to be her? Why couldn't she just erase Kamron from her life? The picture of the ultrasound was still folded in her pocket. She refused to look at it, yet she couldn't let it go. She reached into her pocket, feeling a pain in her chest. Blood had completely soaked her bed sheets and was now turning her face into a painting. She heard her door squeak as her head became light as a feather. She had never lost this much blood before. There was no way this was going to end well. Her vision began to blur as he head knocked back, slamming hard against the wooden flooring. Her eyes focused on her open door, Stuart running towards her. What was with the look of panic he was giving her. She felt herself be picked up and Stuart's chest vibrating as he yelled for help. What was wrong Stu?

* * *

Noodle took in a deep breath, her body aching. What was going on? She slowly opened her eyes, hearing a steady beeping next to her ear. A painted white brick wall greeted her, along with the smell of sterilization. Stuart stood by a window in front of her, holding onto a photo. His face looked agonized, his brows furrowed together. Noodle took in a sharp breath, coughing. Where was she? Stuart looked up, coming to her side before he tucked the photo away. "Noodle, love... how are you feeling?" he asked in a whisper. She looked around, her mouth agape as she looked at the bloody stitches showing through the cotton gauze on her arm. Had he taken her to a hospital? But why? She was perfectly fine... right?

Stuart placed a warm hand on her cheek, whinging. "Stuart... Stuart where am I at?" she barely managed to say. He sighed, grabbing her hand. "In the hospital love. It's been almost two weeks since you've been awake. You lost a lot of blood... when I found you in your bedroom you were near death. Russel doesn't know about it yet, he thinks you've been staying with a friend. Murdoc is well... being Murdoc," he nervously gave her a smirk. Noodle could tell that he was trying to make her smile. Her lips cracked into a smirk. She wondered what he had been looking at before she had woken. Maybe a scan of her arm? Yeah, that had to be it. Stuart sighed, walking out of the room.

* * *

Stuart held out his hand, helping Noodle out of the bed. She had stayed a full three weeks in the hospital before they had decided to let her go. Her stitched we're basically all fallen out and a nice red scar was forming down her fore-arm. Stuart had stayed there the whole time with her. She looked up at him, her bare torso exposed. She might be getting out of the hospital, but she still required assistance getting dressed. She quickly looked down at her chest, noticing her breasts become fuller with her growing pregnancy. Noodle sighed, how could she forget about that? The entire time she had been awake she hadn't once thought about the... thing inside of her. Was it still alright? Even with what she had just attempted. Her stomach was beginning to protrude a bit, barely noticeable unless pointed out.

* * *

The ride back to the Wobble Street house was quiet, Stuart holding her the whole ride on the bus. Noodle snuggled into his puffed jumper, not wanting to lose the moment of comfort. He was such a great man, so why did she let the opportunity she had slip between her fingers? Noodle sighed as the bus rang for the last stop, Stuart holding her hand as they exited. He looked down at her with a worried expression, holding her close before placing a warm wet kiss on her lips. She gripped his jacket, urging him for more. "Not now love," he whispered in a raspy tone. Russel began to stir ontop of the house, waving a hand to greet the two returning. Noodle put her arm behind Stuart's back. Even if there was a sleeve already covering it, she didn't want to take a chance of Russel seeing something wrong with her. He had been her father her entire child hood. Always making sure she was fed, dressed, and in bed on time.

If there was one person in Kong she needed to give credit to, it would be Russel. Stuart wrapped an arm around her shoulder, walking her safely to her bedroom. Noodle looked down at her bed spread, noticing they had the blood washed from them. "Murdoc washed them out after I found you. Said he couldn't stand the thought of having something like that in his house. Considering it's you Noods. You know you mean a lot to all of us, right? Even if it's in all different ways..." his voice broke and he looked away from her. Had she just ashamed him again? She huffed, sitting on the sheets. The paper lanterns in her room had never looked so dull. Stuart sat beside her, taking her hand in his. He had done a good job at comforting Noodle the past week. She had never thought he would be this loyal to her. Even after she had broken his heart for somebody unannounced to him or the rest of the band. What would they think if they knew about Kamron? Somehow she was slowly getting to a point of being comfortable thinking of raising a child. Although she wasn't sure if raising this child would be best for her.

* * *

Noodle lay in Stuart's arms. They had made small talk before he decided to lay his head back, and eventually he had fallen asleep. She seriously doubted that he had slept much in the last three weeks, considering the condition she had been in. Noodle slowly stood up, walking out of her bedroom, and closing the door quietly. Her throat was screaming for her to drink something. She walked down two flights of stairs before reaching the kitchen. The sun was setting and the house was quiet. Russel was asleep by now, so there was no point in trying to visit him. Stuart was fast asleep, and Noodle wasn't going to wake him. Murdoc however... well where was Murdoc? As if on cue, Noodle turned to face the aging green man. "Hello love," he smiled. His sharp teeth glimmered in the light of the setting sun. She could smell the alcohol on his breath. Murdoc placed a hand above her head, smacking it loudly against the wall.

Murdoc looked at her, his face becoming closer to her's. He lifted the drink from her hand, dropping it on the floor. The glass shattered everywhere as he locked his lips against her's. Noodle froze. Something about this felt completely wrong. Unlike when she had slept with Stuart weeks ago. She took all of him in, shaking the feeling. Maybe it was she was afraid of being caught? The day was still alive and Stuart could wake any moment. Murdoc grabbed her legs, setting her on the counter in front of him. He pulled back, huffing like crazy. Age was finally starting to catch up with the cocky bassist.

Noodle smirked, tugging at one of his ears. Murdoc had been the first she lost as a lover. She had given up shagging him before she had Stuart. Sure, he was very good at what he did, but there was never any intimacy in anything they had done together. She had always left the scene feeling physically pleased, but never mentally. Murdoc growled at her, shaking her hand off. Ah, so the alcohol had hit him faster than she had thought. Whenever he drank too much he always became rough and hard to please. Murdoc quickly slid her trousers off, ripping her panties with them. Noodle gasped, feeling him dig his long nails into her thighs. Her shirt came off in a flash, her bra the only thing left on her body. She looked up at Murdoc, his eyes closed. Would he even remember this in the morning?

* * *

Stuart yawned, looking up at Noodle. She was sitting above him, smiling. Noodle leaned down, kissing his cheek. She scratched her neck, trying to cover up the bruises Murdoc had surely left her from their quick meet up. Noodle sighed, laying in between his arms. She couldn't be more happy to see him. This was the comfort she needed at the moment, and she wouldn't be ready to give it up any time soon.

* * *

**Sorry for the ending, I didn't like it too much myself. I may start racking up two updates a day if I start getting more reviews and hits on the story, so I guess we'll see! **

**Bai guys!  
**


	4. I'll Be Strong

**Hey guys! Thanks for the lovely reviews! Er, as a sort of response to one. No, I wouldn't really consider this an AU at all, because the lifestyle of Gorillaz hasn't much been explained after Phase 3 had been set and they ended up on Wobble Street. So technically any story explaining afterwards (in my eyes) is fair game to write about and make whatever you want of it. Glad to see I have a lemon lover!**

**Just to clear it guys, the story was rated "M" for a reason. Don't read if you don't want to deal with sexual situations that may not be in your favor. You have been warned.  
**

* * *

Five Months Pregnant

Noodle sat on a park bench, smoking a fag. Her acoustic guitar lay beside her. She looked down at it, the worn wood looking at her. It had been one of the only things to stick beside her throughout the years. She tossed the fag, curling over in pain. Noodle desperately searched around, finding a bin to vomit into. She wiped her mouth, bending over a second time to dispose of the sick. She slowly walked back to bench, taking a drink of water and spitting it out. Noodle had known smoking was something she shouldn't have done. It was hard going three months without a single one when she had been basically a chain smoker before she knew of her pregnancy. This was one of two times she had broken down and had one. The last time though she had been able to keep herself from vomiting. She sighed, kicking a rock. Her belly had grown so much in the last two months to the point where she was reduced to wearing Stuart's and Murdoc's old baggy jumpers. Her trousers didn't fit her anymore. She had to go out and buy new ones. There was no way she would be able to keep this a secret for much longer. The only way she had been able to was by staying in her room for most of the day and leaving the house when the boys were awake.

Today was the day of her second ultrasound. She hadn't wanted to schedule another one, seeing as for the last three months she had been harboring a picture of her last one that she still hadn't taken a peek at. Yet something kept nagging at her the more she could feel herself grow. Even if she wasn't sure about how she wanted to have this pregnancy go, she didn't want to let something die inside of her. No, abortion had been ruled out by now. Noodle put a hand to her chest, tapping lightly. Her heartburn had been driving her crazy. Along with her legs cramping and the lack of sleep. It was all starting to wear her sanity thin. It was hard enough hiding a pregnancy on top of the fact that she was dealing with it alone. Noodle put her head in her hands. It hurt knowing Kamron wasn't around to help her out. Even though she doubted that he would have if he was still here. It would just be nice to have somebody to share this with. This... this... child.

* * *

Noodle looked away from the picture of the ultrasound as the doctor moved around on her stomach, blabbering on about the development and what she should do. She bit her bottom lip, holding back the tears. How could something so small inside of her make such a big impact on her daily life? "Noodle," the doctor said loudly. She looked over, carefully avoiding the screen. "Would you like to know the sex?" he asked. Noodle stared at him for a good two minutes before she shook her head no. No. That would just cause more attachment. That was something that she didn't need right now. She already had too much of that. It would be hard enough giving up the child if she decided upon adoption. The doctor talked on, pointing at the screen, but she cared not to look at it. She looked down at her belly. The rounded shape brought a flood of emotion to her. Memories she didn't want to have anymore. Emotions she wished she could toss. Rubbish, all of it. She shook her head, looking up at the doctor.

* * *

The sound of the bus felt numb to her ears as she held onto her growing belly and lay back in the seat. The dull, rainy streets passed her by. Life felt unreal to her anymore. She wished dearly that she could just close her eyes and the last year would just disappear. Unfortunately though, she realized it couldn't be erased. No matter how much she hoped. The bus clicked and she stood, putting the strap of her guitar case over her shoulder. The baby bump was out and full, showing to the rest of the passengers. The last thing she needed was for one of them to recognize her and tell a reporter. The Wobble Street house would be flooded with the papp. Noodle looked up, making sure Russel was still asleep. She had grown too much recently to be able to scale the building into her bedroom.

The house was as dark as it was outside when she entered. Murdoc was snoring drunkenly on the couch, and Stuart was more than likely in his room. She hadn't seen much of either of them. Noodle snuck into her room, closing the door quietly. She removed her sweatshirt and trousers, putting on pajamas. She sighed in relief, feeling more comfortable. It was harder for her to keep regular clothing on with the growing weight on her. Noodle yawned, her covers swallowing her up. She looked at the clock, closing her eyes.

* * *

The melodic beat started. Noodle slowly opened her eyes, feeling herself wakened by the noise. She yawned, looking around. The sky was still dark and raining. Stuart was playing the keyboard above her loud enough for her to hear him, and his singing. She rolled on her back, listening in.

_"Clinging to me_  
_ Like a last breath you would breathe_  
_ You were like home to me_  
_ I don't recognize the street_

_Please don't close your eyes_  
_ Don't know where to look without them_  
_ Outside the cars speed by_  
_ I never heard them until now"_

Noodle closed her eyes. This was one of her favorite songs to hear him sing. She had actually been the one to show him. His voice fit it perfectly.

_"I know you care_  
_ I know it is always been there_  
_ But there's trouble ahead, I can feel it_  
_ You are just saving yourself when you hide it_

_ Yeah, I know you care_  
_ I see it in the way you stare_  
_ As if there was trouble ahead and you knew it_  
_I'll be saving myself from the ruin_  
_ And I know you care"_

Why was he singing it though? She hadn't heard a peep from him in a long time.

_"I used to run down the stairs_  
_ To the door and I thought you were there_  
_ Do you shape through the comfort of us_  
_ Two lovers loved out of love_

_ Oh, but I know you care_  
_ I know it is always been there_  
_ But there's trouble ahead, I can feel it_  
_You are just saving yourself when you hide it"_

His voice quivered, and he stopped for a second. Slowly he picked up the tune again, starting back with the singing. Noodle rolled over, wrapping a fuzzy blanket around her. She slid on her slippers and walked out of her door, heading upstairs. The singing began again, growing stronger with each step approaching his door.

_"Yeah, I know you care_  
_ I see it in the way you stare_  
_ As if there was trouble ahead and you knew it_  
_ I'll be saving myself from the ruin_

_ And know it wasn't always wrong_  
_ But I've never known a winter so cold_  
_ Now I don't warm my hands in your coat_  
_ But I still hope"_

Noodle stood infront of his door, putting her ear to it and slowly sitting down. His voice was so calm it was soothing her into sleep again. He must be going through an opium run again if he was staying up and singing at these ungodly hours.

_"'Cause this is how things ought to have been_  
_ And I know the worst of it wasn't all that it seemed_  
_ Why can't I dream_  
_ Why can't I dream_

_ 'Cause I know you care_  
_ And I know you care_  
_ I know you care_  
_ I know you care_  
_ I know it's always been there"_

Her eyelids slowly closed, leaning on the door frame more. She could hear him sniffling and his keyboard fall to the ground. Was he okay? She looked up at the handle, contemplating whether or not she should go in. Stuart was definitely not feeling okay right now and it would be rude of her to not see if she could do something to better it. Especially if she was sitting right outside of his bedroom. Slowly she rose, holding onto her belly. She took in a deep breath, knocking on his door gently. "Staurt?" she called. The fuzzy blanket clinged to her, her free arm holding on with a death grip. Stuart shuffled around, and then called for her to come in. Noodle grabbed the knob, slowly opening the door. Stuart was sitting on his bed, rubbing at his eyes. Pieces of paper were scatter everywhere. He motioned for her to come over. She walked up the dimly lit room, sitting next to him.

Stuart stared at the ground, sitting in silence. Noodle frowned, hiding her belly in the blanket. "Are you... are you okay?" she asked, placing a hand on his back. He stiffened up at her touch, almost pulling away. Stuart looked at her, his eyes seeming more vacant than usual. "Noodle.. why are you hiding things from me all the time? Why couldn't you just tell me?" he whispered. She looked at him, her heart speeding up. Had he found out? She watched as he pulled out a piece of paper, unfolding it quickly. She gasped, looking at her first ultrasound. "I found it by the living area earlier. Why didn't you tell me I had gotten you pregnant?" his voice slowly disappeared. Noodle froze. What? He thought she was pregnant by him? It dawned on her how they had made it soon after the ultrasound was taken. He must not have seen the date on the photo.

"Stuart..." was all Noodle could think of saying. How could he miss the dating on the photo. She placed a hand over his, covering the tiny picture. Stuart looked at her, his face a mixture of dismay and anger. Anger at what though? Had he really thought she would keep something like this from him? Her heart hurt, she had been keeping her pregnancy a secret though. Yet it wasn't one he had caused. How could she ever recover from this? "It all makes sense now.. You eating more, getting moody, wearing Muds' and I's old shirts and how distant you've been lately. It all makes sense Noods, why couldn't you just tell me? Were you scared of what I was going to say? Did you want to... abort it without me knowing?" his face looked pained with the last sentence. Noodle didn't know what to do other than to keep still and stare at him.

Noodle shook her head, looking away. "Stuart, you don't understand... it's not like that," she whispered back to him. "Understand what Noods? How can I not?" he grabbed her arms, his voice pleading for an answer. Noodle looked down at his hands, the blanket barely able to stay up with his pressure on her arms. How was she going to tell him the truth? There was no way she could just lie and say it was his child. No way at all. Plus it would be a scummy thing to do to a mate like him. He was too much of a sweetheart to have another cold heart-ed women in his life. She couldn't be another Paula. Noodle stood, dropping the blanket. Her pregnant belly sticking out of the tank top she wore. Stuart looked her over, his mouth quivering.

* * *

**Thanks for reading guys! Glad this story is still getting good hits! :3 Leave a review saying what you want her to do about her baby situation and if you're enjoying the read. I'm still thinking about doing two-a-days if the reviews and hits keep going the way they have been. So I guess the more reviews and hits the more I'll be updating this story!  
**

**Bai! xx  
**

**Song: I Know You Care - Ellie Goulding  
**


	5. A New Start

**Hallo world! Back again! This is going to be a rather mushy chapter, so for those of you that have been saddened in the past you might want to grab a tissue... or two!**

* * *

Stuart stood, looking at Noodle's changed body. Her noticeably larger breasts and even more noticeable belly. Noodle bit her lower lip, watching as the older man examined her. Each minute passing more nerve-wracking. What was he going to say? She could only imagine how the others were going to react if he chose to tell them. "Stuart.. it's not your baby," she said, barely a whisper. He looked up at her, his head falling. Noodle stop chewing on her lip and walked over to him, looking up at his tear streaked face. How long had he been crying? "Stuart... please just talk to me... I can explain.." she said. He closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. Stuart reached up, wiping away the tears from his face and nodding. Noodle sighed in relief. She watched as he repositioned himself on the bed, patting the space next to him. She happily accepted, sitting next to him. "It's kind of a long story Stu," she said, looking down at the hardwood flooring. "It's fine," he replied huskily," I've got the time."

* * *

Noodle sighed. It had taken her at least two hours to recollect him everything he needed to know. The drugs, the drinking, Kamron, the abuse, the baby, and why she had hidden it for so long. Stuart hadn't gotten angry or even so much as interrupted her. There had been a few times he stopped her to question things, but for the most part he had been understanding. Not of what choices had been made, but of why she had left Kamron and hid the pregnancy. He was relieved to find she wasn't lying and hadn't actually been carrying his child secretly. It took way more reassuring than she thought it would to get him to succumb to the truth. "That's everything," she said, ending the story. Stuart sighed, looking at his hands. Even though the outcome of the truth hadn't been what he had expected.. it was still a rather nasty one to tell. One she hadn't planned on telling.

* * *

Six and a Half Months Pregnant

Noodle stared at her plate in the cafe. A half eaten orange, smears of eggs, and an untouched piece of toast lay in front of her. It had been hard trying to find something to eat after she found out she had gestational diabetes. Stuart had been the one to point out her weight loss and fatigue. She would have just put it off if he hadn't constantly been nagging her about it. Then again, everybody in the band had been constantly nagging her about making sure she was in top health. Murdoc had taken it the hardest. Russel had been relieved she hadn't been doing drugs or been a slapper. Stuart.. was still taking it pretty hard. Though he had been better about it lately. Still, the thought of giving birth to this child knocked the breath out of her. Even thinking about it at this point brought her to near tears. It had gotten harder the further along she came. Knowing that she was becoming attached to something she hadn't wanted in the first place. Something that she had to constantly remind her of Kamron.

Kamron. He had been something she thought about constantly. Memories of him. Good and bad. Like the day he had taken her to the beach and surprised her with a dinner that night. Or the time he had held her all night after a nasty fight with Murdoc. He made sure to keep rocking her, even long after the tears had dried up. Even the time he had printed off photos of them and placed them in random places around her room. Despite the abusive arse he became in the end, Kamron hadn't always been bad to her. It was why she was having such a hard time letting go of the memories they had made together. Whether they had been just between them or not. Every night she had lay on his couch while he fiddled around with his old acoustic and sang her silly songs replayed in her mind. Something about them always brought comfort to her in a fucked up way. She had spent the last two weeks laying awake at night, looking out at the sky. Watching stars on an old blanket had been something he loved to do with her.

Noodle sighed, looking over at the window. She swallowed a lump in her throat, placing her head in her hand. It was going to be hard for her to not cry. She wanted so badly to just be able to tell Kamron goodbye. Just one last time. Maybe then she could come to a closure with what had happened. Maybe then this child wouldn't be such a hard thing to come to terms with raising. Raising something that looked like him. Just like Kamron. Noodle still hadn't wanted to find out what she was having. It was driving the boys nuts when they were trying to prepare a nursery for her baby. She closed her eyes, biting her bottom lip. The tears flowed from her tightly shut lids. She had tried so hard to not, but it had become too much. How could she do this alone? There was no way she would be fit to raise a child when she was this emotionally unstable. Somebody cleared their throat next to her and she looked over, quickly wiping her tears away. A young waitress looked at her, a saddened expression barely hidden. "Here's the bill," she sheepishly said, sliding it on the table. Noodle nodded, pulling out money. She could see the waitress staring intently at her protruding belly.

"How far along are you?" she asked, taking the cash. Noodle sighed," six and a half months." The waitress paused for a moment, before sliding into the booth and taking one of Noodle's hands in her's. Noodle looked up at her, eyes shaking. Tears poured out, as she began to loudly sob.

* * *

A young boy entered the tiny flat, setting down a box. "Last one," he said as he wiped the sweat from his forehead. "Thank you very much," Noodle replied with a smile. He nodded, exiting down the old cast iron staircase. Getting up and down them would be hell for her. Murdoc grumbled, sitting on a window ledge. Stuart sighed, putting his hands in his trouser pockets. Noodle looked over at them. She crossed her arms, resting them over her rounded belly. "What?" she asked, slightly annoyed. She knew the boys hadn't been exactly happy over her move, but she had promised them it wouldn't be a permanent one. Stuart shook his head, hanging it. Murdoc looked at her through the side of his eye," 's alright I guess. A bit tiny." He mutter a few more words, grumbling to himself. She went to her new bedroom, looking around at the ancient heaters and faded pink wall papering. It wasn't much, but it would be home to her until she could make everything better on herself. Besides, it was closer to the clinic and hospital. That was a plus... right?

The springs squeaked as she sat down. She would definitely have to get her old mattress, or else the remaining time would be hell on her. It was bad enough as is, tossing and turning all through the night. The waitress at the diner had been nice enough to offer her the flat above the store and a job. She wasn't going to complain about the little things. It wasn't big, but it had two rooms, one bathroom, a little living area, and a kitchen. With just her and the baby, it would be good enough. Not like she was living with three boys again. That was something that would be totally foreign to her... being alone. It wasn't something she had had to experience in years. Quite frankly, she didn't want to. It was necessary though to her temporary independence. She could hear Murdoc snarling at Stuart and leave after smacking him quite loudly. Stuart slowly walked to her room, peeking in through the door. She motioned for him to join her on the bed. He sat down, staring at his feet. "It's going to be different, ya know? Not having you around all of the time," his voice sounded weak. Almost as if he couldn't bring himself to talk anymore.

Noodle knew this move would most likely be the hardest on him. He had been sleeping in her room every night since he had found out about her being pregnant. Probably trying to make sure everything was going okay. "Are you going to be okay? I mean... it's just... I'm so used to making sure you eat right and stuff.. I'm just worried about you Noods, is all," Stuart sighed. Noodle nodded. She took his hand in her's. He looked up at her, feeling a bit shocked by the reaction. "Want to stay over tonight?" she offered. He quickly nodded, as if he had been waiting for her to say those words. Noodle grinned, leaning her head onto his shoulder. At least she wouldn't have to spend her night alone.

* * *

Stuart tossed the last box into the pile of empty ones. Noodle sat in her chair, looking over at him. He had basically unpacked everything she had. Right down to everything for the nursery. She heard a whistle, and quickly got up. She was craving tea like crazy. Stuart panted, sitting on the window ledge. Noodle quickly poured the hot water into two cups, swirling the tea bags around. She tossed the bags, grabbing a tin of sugar and bringing it to her tiny coffee table. Stuart reached out, quickly fixing the tea to his taste and gulping it down. She giggle, sipping slowly at the warm brew. Noodle sat the cup on her saucer, next to empty boxes of carry in. Stuart walked out to the balcony, lighting a fag. She had banned smoking on the inside of the flat. It was bad for her and the baby. Plus, she didn't want the waitress thinking she was a chain smoker by the time she moved out.

Noodle looked up at the antique light, smiling. She couldn't believe she was finally doing something on her own. She held onto her belly, nausea setting in. It had been a couple of days since she had last vomited, and she wanted to keep it that way. She closed her eyes, fighting the urge until she couldn't take it anymore. The porcelain met her cheeks as she deposited the sick into it. Her head spun and she sat back, body against the cold wall. Stuart came in through the mesh door, shutting it quietly. He walked over to the glowing hallway by the bathroom and peeked in, seeing Noodle. "Love, let's get you to bed," he said, worriedly. Noodle nodded, slowly standing with his help. Stuart flipped the switch, darkening the hall. He helped her to her bedroom, and they both changed into pajamas.

Noodle shut the door as Stuart switched off the bedside lamp. She slowly lowered herself onto the squeaky bed. Her large belly met the comfortable cushion. Stuart pulled the blankets up, scooting closer to her. The warmth of his arms gliding around her met with the bed made her purr in pleasure. It had been a while since she had felt she could actually sleep through the night. Stuart hummed, pulling them close to one another. His chin rested just above her head on the pillow. She held his hand, resting it below her belly. She smiled, feeling herself being lulled into a sleep by his constant humming. Somehow he always knew how to make things better. For the first time in weeks, Noodle slept soundly without Kamron invading her dreams.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Review and I'll continue.**

**Bai! xx  
**


	6. Time To Give Goodbyes

**Sorry for the VERY late update, university and my job have made my life cluttered. Ugh. I hope you guys enjoy the chapter still! Yet again, sorry for the late updating! **

**I cried writing a bit of this, I hope I don't make you guys as emotional as I got.  
**

* * *

Eight Months Pregnant

Noodle sat on the old bed, plucking away at her ancient acoustic guitar. She had just worked through an eight hours shift and couldn't be more thankful to sit down. Her tacky diner outfit lay on the ground. A striped pink dress, and knee high socks strewn across the old floor boards. Noodle look down at her arms as she played. The darkened scar marks from knives, razors, anything she could find were left behind. The only details of the dark beginning of this pregnancy she had left. She was far from that stage. Far from the person she had been just months ago. Something about being away from the house and having something that kept her busy constantly had made her mood lightened. She liked the feeling of seeing new faces everyday. People asking about her belly. How Stuart and Murdoc would come visit her every once in a while to take her to dinner and talk over things they had been toying around with musically.

Each visit made her cheer up a bit more. Stuart had gone with her to her last ultrasound. He had convinced her to find out the sex of the child so that people could buy her better presents for the baby shower. A little girl. A little Noodle. "I bet you're all cramped up inside of there, ey?" she smiled, looking down at her very rounded belly and rubbed it. She closed her eyes, imagining what the child would look like. "Kamron would have been proud to see you... I bet he would have loved to of been a father," she took in a sharp breath, convincing herself not to spill tears over it. Noodle opened her green eyes, laying back on her squeaky bed and looked at the wall behind her. She had finally come round to decorating the tiny flat. Pictures of Stuart, Murdoc, and Russel cluttered it. She had left all pictures of Kamron out of it... no, she had reserved those. All for the baby book she made for her still unnamed daughter.

"What am I going to call you, little bird? Mummy's running out of time to think of something," Noodle slightly giggled at her procrastination. She was already eight months along and still had yet to try and think of names. Whether they had been male or female. "Maybe you could be Noodle Jr? Can they do that with girls? I dunno. Hrm, and you'll have Kamron's last name. Since I, er, don't have one," she grinned. "Noodle Jr. Cornishe? Heh... how 'bout.. Maisie? Maisie Jane Cornishe? Oh! I like it!" Noodle clapped her hands together once in glee at accomplishing something during it. She still had the entire nursery to set up... though she was sure she would be ringing Murdoc and Stuart to come "help" her do it. A.K.A. they come and she sits around, pretending to do something, because she's too sore and large to bother with it. Putting together the crib and all the bibs, toys, nappies, wipes, etc. away would more than tire her out. Even if she had brought herself from the depressing funk she had herself stuck in, there were still moments where she doubted herself as a mother. Even days where she would skip out on the strict diet Stuart had her on, left her feeling guilty.

Yet, she was damn determined to turn her attitude around. To look away from her scars and see it in a brighter way. One that would set her in a good future for her and her daughter. One that would help her cope with Kamron, and the reality of being a single mother. One that would help her explain to Maisie why her dad couldn't be there. Noodle took in another sharp breather, feeling the lump in her throat start to form again. She had to stop thinking of such horrible things if she was ever going to make herself and her attitude worth while.

Eight and A Half Months Pregnant

The wind picked up and blew autumn leaves throughout the tombstones. The purple mop on Noodle's head joined in, dancing around wildly. Stuart gave a gentle gripping to Noodle's hand as she stared at the grave site in front of her. The soil had just started to bud grass over the grave dug not even a year old. The grave for the man she had loved so very much. The man she still couldn't bring herself to let go of. Every memory they had together burned in her mind, causing her eyes to water up. It didn't help that Maisie had been kicking most of the day. It took everything she had in her to not break down into a whinging fit. Outside she could make herself look brave, but on the inside she was a ticking time bomb. Never knowing when she was going to explode.

The pale stone read 'Kamron Cornishe' is big lettering. Her eyes were locked on it, wilting flowers beginning to cover the stone. Noodle bent over and placed a set of her own. The white roses standing out amongst the other dead foliage. She had wanted to do this for some time; to say goodbye and start to move on with her life. Noodle let go of Stuart's hand, wobbling to sit down in the grass. She huffed, getting in to position and pulling out pictures. Noodle looked down at them. Some folded, other left perfectly flat. She looked up at the stone and opened her mouth. "Hello Kamron... it's been... quite some time since I've spoken to you. I do have to apologize for that, I've missed you quite a bit," the lump in her throat grew more as she spoke, the tears slowly starting to spill from her eyes. "I just... I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry I never gave you a proper goodbye... so sorry I never made it to the funeral. You know. I'm pregnant," she smiled slightly," yep. About two weeks from my due date. With your child.. our child. I'm going to name her Maisie. Maisie Jane. "

The wind began to slow the longer she spoke. Noodle picked up the ultrasound pictures, laying them on the barely grown grass. She scoffed to herself, feeling silly that she believed he could actually see the pictures of their daughter. Maisie gave a kick, and Noddle placed her hands on her belly, rubbing the painful feeling away. "She's a fiesty one, ya' know? She has your attitude already, stubborn as hell, I say. I bet she's going to look just like you. Heh.. wouldn't that be something?" Noodle looked away, feeling Stuart place a comforting hand on her shoulder. Her tears had stopped falling, but her heart was still plunging. She hadn't thought it to be this hard, but she had been wrong. Now that she was facing the situation, it had become harder than ever. "And.. and I'm going to do my best to tell her about you everyday. You know all those pictures we took together, yeah? I took 'em and put them all in her baby book.. so she could see how happy we were."

Noodle couldn't take it anymore. She broke. The tears flowed rapidly as she cupped her face in her hands. Stuart was quick to bend down and wrap his arms around her in comfort. He held her tightly as she smashed her wet face into his blue mess of hair and whinged for what seemed like ages. All of the pain she was feeling seemed ungodly to her. What had she gotten herself into and how could she even begin to get herself out of it?

* * *

Stuart came into the little living area with a cup of tea, sitting it on the table in front of Noodle. Along with it came an apple and her prenatal vitamins. He scooted his chair next to her, rubbing her back. "So Maisie Jane it is, ey?" he attempted conversation. Noodled nodded, popping the pills into her mouth and swallowing them with a gulp of tea. She reached out her hands, playing with the apple's stem. Stuart nodded slowly, watching her play with the apple. "You know you've always got me... right Noods?" he questioned, his voice seeming almost shrunken in volume. Noodle looked over at him. Even if Stuart hadn't been the father of her child, he had done a damn good job at being there hand and foot for her. Some days she wished it was his child and not Kamron's. Just for the fact that he would grow up with an almost fully functioning father. With a hell of a coddling personality, and a willingness that put anybody's she had met to shame.

Stuart had been good to her her entire life. It was something that had never changed about him. The fact that even though she wasn't a child anymore he still cared for her more than anything. Noodle lifted the apple, placing it on her lips and taking a bite. The juicy sweetness had become a bland taste now that she had been on a diet. Stuart looked back over at her, his expression lightening at the sight. He placed a hand on her free one, the long fingers twining into her's.

* * *

**Sorry this was cut shorter than the other's I have written. I promise to make up for it next chapter. What do you guys think of the name? I think it's cute.**

**Until then, xx  
**


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